What is it costing you to “having it all together”?

We’ve been conditioned to believe that being strong means having it all together.

That composure = confidence. That emotion = weakness. That asking for help = failure.

It names a deep, often unspoken belief many of us carry—one that keeps us isolated and over-functioning.

I witness this every day in my work with high-achieving women and busy moms:

✨ The pressure to keep it all together is often what keeps us disconnected—from ourselves, from support and from the freedom to feel.

Holding it all isn’t a sign of strength.

It’s a sign you may have been taught it isn’t safe to fall apart.

But what if being seen in your truth—messy, vulnerable, tender, real—is actually the strongest thing you can do?

What if you could set down the mask and rest for a moment in your humanity and your truth?

Authenticity doesn’t live in perfection.

It lives in your breath, in your breakdowns, in the brave act of being honest about what’s real.

Here are common ways busy moms and high-achieving women “keep it all together”—often unconsciously—as a way to maintain control, feel safe or meet unspoken expectations. These patterns can be somatic, emotional, mental or behavioral:

🧠 Mental Patterns:

• Overthinking everything – playing out every scenario to prevent failure or judgment

• Perfectionism – believing things must be “just right” to be good enough

• Suppressing emotions – pushing feelings aside to stay focused or appear composed

• Micromanaging – needing everything done a specific way to feel secure or worthy

🫀 Emotional Habits:

• Smiling when they’re struggling – masking overwhelm to avoid appearing “too much”

• Minimizing their needs – saying “I’m fine” when they’re not

• Carrying guilt for resting – tying worth to productivity

• Avoiding vulnerability – fearing judgment, rejection or being seen as incapable

🧍🏽‍♀️ Somatic/Body Responses:

• Tensing the jaw, shoulders or belly – unconsciously bracing against the world

• Holding the breath – shallow breathing to stay in “do” mode

• Forcing energy – overriding fatigue with caffeine, adrenaline or sheer willpower

• Staying in constant motion – movement as distraction from inner stillness

🧾 Behavioral Patterns:

• Overcommitting – saying yes to avoid disappointing others

• People-pleasing – abandoning their own needs to stay “liked” or safe

• Overachieving – seeking worth through accomplishment

• “Doing it all” alone – not asking for help because of shame or pride

This is by no means judging or criticizing anyone, it’s more about awareness and noticing where you may fall into some of these patterns.

Believe me, some of these have been a pattern of mine for a long time, until I started noticing the physical effects and what it was costing me. This has allowed me to make small shifts in my daily life to create new patterns.

You don’t need to hold it all to be worthy.
You already are.

Learn more about how I can support you here.

🤗 With Compassion,

Brigitte